For some reason, more than anywhere else, the shower is where I am able to completely forget the outside world and focus on God. True, these times aren't always world-shaking, life-altering experiences - but isn't that just how it goes? Not every worship experience is a mind-blowing encounter with God. Sometimes it's just a worship experience. And that's okay, because we are called to worship, and when we do that, even if we do not notice any change in the physical realm because of our worship, I have no doubts that the spiritual realm has been changed, even if only slightly. Don't forget: we're in a battle here, and it's not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual powers of darkness.
But still, sometimes I just want God to rock me. That's how I felt two days ago when I stepped into the shower. As John Mark McMillan blasted on the stereo (can I legitimately call my iPod dock a "stereo?"), I was struck by his lyrics in "Alive": "I guess that I'm thinking that it's been too long since I fell down hard and bled my heart all over you. But maybe I never recovered from the last one."
That's how I felt. I felt that it had been too long since I fell down hard and bled myself all over God. And then I thought about the last time I did that. And then I was immersed in a full-on, beautiful, life-giving, life-altering, Holy Spirit-filled, worshipful shower. I just let myself go as the water rushed over me. I sang at the top of my lungs. I danced (as much as I could without endangering myself in our mat-less tub). I prayed. In short, I finally fell down hard and bled myself all over God. And it was amazing.
It's not always like that, but for some reason, on that particular day, John Mark McMillan's lyrics just caught me off guard and broke me. If you haven't heard of or listened to John Mark, I highly recommend it. I didn't really like him that much at first because...well...he has an unusual voice. It is not nearly as "pretty" as other singers. But his voice and lyrics are so full of beauty and raw emotion that it didn't take long before I was overtaken. Take a listen sometime if you get a chance.
But I digress. The point is, we all need to fall down hard and bleed ourselves all over God once in a while. I should probably do it much more than I do...but then again, maybe part of its beauty is its rarity.