So Excited!

FYI: For those of you who are just taking a look at my blog, you should read my previous post first. Thanks!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010:

Dear Baby Birk,

Well, you are quite the little surprise!

Before I get into how I found out about you, let me tell you a little bit about the family that you have joined.

Your daddy and I have been married for just over two years. I am 23, and your daddy is 25. We met at Bethel University in St. Paul, MN, where we were both attending college. We’ll tell you the whole story some day, but to make a long story short, we met at the beginning of our junior year through a mutual friend.

The first night we met was one of the most amazing nights of my life. I thought that our mutual friend was interested in your dad, so I was trying to “feel him out” to make sure that he was good enough for her. But it didn’t take long for him and I to get into this wonderful, three-hour-long conversation, where we both shared some of our respective testimonies and what God had been doing in our lives. It was incredible. I don’t know about your dad, but I had never opened up like that with someone I just met. It was so clear that God was present in our conversation and was there in our midst.

Two weeks later, your daddy “asked” me out. I say “asked,” because there really wasn’t much actual asking going on. Really, he pretty much just told me that we should be in a relationship because we were going to get married.

I wasn’t necessarily ready to commit to marriage quite yet (after all, I had never even dated anyone before that!), but I did want to get to know him better and felt very drawn to him. So, in a really awkward and embarrassing way, I said that I agreed that we should be in a relationship. (I’ll fill you in on the sordid details someday when you are a bit older).

Two and a half months later, your dad proposed to me. I was very surprised. I knew he was going to propose within the next few months, but I didn’t expect it quite so soon!

I was nervous about getting engaged and getting married, since I come from a broken home (Lord willing, you will never have to understand how that feels), but I really felt God’s hand on the situation, as did your daddy, so I just decided to trust God and accepted your dad’s proposal.

Five crazy months later, we were married!

Since then, I have discovered the absolute beauty of the marriage covenant. Your daddy and I love each other so deeply; I can’t even put it into words. He is my best friend and my confidante. He is so silly, too – you’ll learn that someday. He makes me laugh all the time, and I love him for that! And, Baby, you should know that he really adores me…and I really adore him. It is so clear to me that God destined us to be together. We love being married to each other and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Which brings me to you, Little One, and your older sister, Leila. Maybe you met her in heaven before you started growing in my tummy?

Your daddy was ready to start trying to have a baby practically the second we got married. He wants to be a father so bad. I, on the other hand, wanted to wait a few years – at least three – before trying for children. Don’t get me wrong, I have always wanted kids – actually, I want a large family, so hopefully someday you will have lots of younger brothers and sisters. But at the time, I was just getting used to the idea of being married, and I wanted time with my husband. Plus, I’ll be honest, I was scared to death of the pain involved in labor!

So, we decided to wait.

But six months later, I was shocked to find out that I was pregnant with your older sister, Leila. Your daddy was completely thrilled when I told him that we were going to have a baby. I didn’t really feel ready, though, and for the first couple days, I was scared to death. But then, quite suddenly, I got very excited to be welcoming a precious child into our family.

And then, a week after I found out I was pregnant, your older sister Leila left my body and went back to heaven to be with Jesus.

From that day on, I wanted to have a baby desperately.

And finally, several months ago, and not quite two years after our miscarriage, your dad and I decided it was time to try again.

We tried for a number of months with no luck.

I took quite a few pregnancy tests in that time, just wishing and hoping that I would see a positive result.

No such luck.

And then, this past week, that all changed.

Last week, your daddy and I were in Milwaukee for my best friend’s (your Aunt Meg’s) wedding. I was the Matron of Honor, and, as such, one of my duties was to give a speech at the reception.

Because we had been trying to get pregnant, though, your daddy told me that I had to have non-alcoholic champagne for the toast, just in case.

Which I thought was ridiculous.

There was no way that I was pregnant!

But he agreed that if I took a test on the day of the wedding and it was negative, I could have real, grown-up champagne.

So, on Thursday of last week, August 12, 2010, I went with Aunt Meg to Target and, while there, I bought a two-pack pregnancy test.

Friday morning, August 13, 2010, I took one of the tests, honestly not expecting (though, of course, hoping and wishing) to see a positive.

But almost immediately, there it was. That beautiful (though faint), blue positive sign.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I really couldn’t.

I was pregnant!!!

You had already started forming inside of me, and, just like last time I was pregnant, I was amazed that something so precious could have been growing in my tummy without my knowledge.

Your Aunt Meg, who had seen me purchase the pregnancy test, asked me about the result when she woke up that morning, and when she found out I was pregnant, she freaked out! She just kept yelling, “Shut up! Shut up!”

It was so great to share the joyous news with someone who was so excited for me (and for your daddy, and for you)! I think she is looking forward to meeting you almost as much as your daddy and I are.

I felt so blessed that my best friend, rather than feeling as though I was raining on her parade or stealing her thunder, was still able to be genuinely happy for me when I found out about you…even just one day before the most important day of her life - her wedding!

The next morning, I decided to take the other pregnancy test.

I just couldn’t wait to see that positive result again.

And I half expected it to not be there.

I half expected the other test to be a false-positive.

But, praise God, on the morning of Aunt Meg’s wedding, I got to see yet another positive result on a pregnancy test – and this line was even darker than the one the day before was!

Later that day, I told your daddy that it turned out that I did need to have non-alcoholic champagne for the toast after all.

And he was so very happy!

Last week was already shaping up to be a pretty darn good week, what with your Aunt Meg’s wedding and all, but you really put it over the top. It really turned out to be one of the best weeks of my life so far.

We are both over-the-moon excited that you are growing inside of me, Baby!

You are already loved so deeply, and we can’t wait to meet you. I have no idea how I am going to make it another couple weeks before getting to go to my first prenatal doctor’s appointment…and I have even less of an idea of how I am going to make it another nine months (give or take, depending on how long you’ve been hiding in my tummy without me knowing) before I get to hold you and kiss you and snuggle you.

We love you so much, Baby. Please keep growing strong and healthy.

Love, Always and Forever,

Momma